A poignant reminder of a dark time in my past. Have you experienced this as well? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
There’s a lump under my back, and
I’m soaking wet with the sweat of anxiety;
Insomnia has had me in its clutches for a week now.
Images in my head keep changing: I’m free,
No, I’m captive. Different versions of me hide behind the couch,
Pregnant with memories of surviving somehow.
I had more things than this last week, many
More possessions, each with their own story of
Days when I was lucid, sane, solvent.
For some reason I have become willing to settle for
Less in my life, items diminishing, the sun setting, as
I slowly waste away, sleeping on couches.
Dawn, thank you so much for reblogging my poem Sleeping on Couches. You might have read between the lines with this, but the poem is about the decades I spent in active addiction, losing two wives, a house, apartments, three cars, and several jobs. I would “couch surf” with friends and family. Today, I have a real bed, my own car, a job I love, and seven years sober. I plan on returning to college next year to finish my psychology degree and sit for the Pennsylvania certification for recovery specialist. I will be spending the remainder of my life counseling alcoholics and drug addicts. Life has never been this sweet. Please feel free to visit my blog and stroll through the archives. Again, thanks for liking my poem.
That’s so encouraging! I too struggled with addiction many years ago, and your poem reminded me of those days. I have more posts about my journey to sobriety in my Substance Abuse category.
Doesn’t sobriety feel wonderful??
Yes, sobriety feels fantastic. I live in Pennsylvania, and our Commonwealth provides training and certification for a Certified Recovery Specialist, which I am preparing for. I am also returning to college to finish my B.S. in Psychology. It took me many, many years to find my purpose. Once I stopped drinking and getting high, the fog lifted and God let me see what my life was meant to be. It is His will that I be sober, and that I help others who are struggling with addiction. My blog has been one of the best things I’ve ever undertaken. I have always fashioned myself to be a writer, but I spent all my time READING about writing. I lacked the discipline and the self confidence to start sharing my words with others. I really love your blog and I’m so grateful to you for your kind responses. Life is good!