I call it the nothing box. That’s where my Ex lives most of the time since we’ve been separated and now divorced. Have you ever heard of the nothing box?
Well, I call it the nothing box because he simply went away, physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, psychologically. It’s like he put himself in a box where nothing happens, nothing seems touch him and there is little or no response from him.
I get it that we all need down time, private time to just mellow out. But to LIVE THERE incessantly? To not respond to your divorce lawyer? To your children? To your family? To your friends? I get it that he doesn’t want to respond to me sometimes. I understand that part. But when you tend to live in the nothing box, there’s a problem of epic proportions.
I’m sorry, but I’m tired of emails that don’t get answered…
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Today’s post is a two-part series by my friend, Samantha Ferguson. She’s an amazing single mama and photographer in Birmingham, Alabama. If you are looking for someone to take some great family photos, make sure you check out His Hands Photography.
I was researching a few months ago about encouraging things to say to a single mom and I came across a blog post from Huffington Post. It was sweet, perfect, and FUNNY!
From Huffington Post, 7 things to say to a single mom:
- Your kid is going to be so proud of you.
- Of course it’s OK to leave him/her with a babysitter!
- It’s also totally OK if you didn’t reeeeeally miss your baby too much.
- A family is a family, no matter who the major players are.
- Your hair looks great!
- You are enough.
- You’re doing awesome.
I have been a single mom…
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A message to single parents…
for raising children alone is hard to do.
But as we look back upon the years…
we can see how God has helped us through.
For we seldom choose to raise children alone…
but as we look back over the years…
we can see how God has blessed us…
through all our brokenness and tears.
And as we celebrate today…
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New research shows high-achieving kids are more likely to drink and use drugs during their teen years and develop addictions by adulthood.
DO YOU ASSUME THAT since your kid gets good grades and goes to a good school that they’re not drinking or doing drugs? Think again. That’s the takeaway from two new studies suggesting that academically gifted youths are more likely to abuse substances, both as teens and adults. One surveyed 6,000 London students over nine years. Those with the highest test scores at age 11 were more likely to drink alcohol and smoke marijuana in adolescence – and were twice as likely to do so “persistently by age 20.”
Notably, a study taken by Arizona State University (ASU) study found that high school students who were more afraid their parents would punish them were less likely to drink or get high as adults. One professor, Luthar, said her…
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You know what does it take to be a parent? And then a working parent? And then a single working parent?
Lets just say.. in short.. “a lot”!
My heart feels overwhelmed when I see the lives of some parents around me. And I do not feel like this on why their lives are difficult, I feel this for the strength that they display despite of it.
It could be their choices or destiny that landed them where they are. One could judge, advice, or criticize them.. but one can never match the sheer courage they show in every single moment of their lives; as they bear double the burden of parenting while also relentlessly trying to hide that from the child, who incidentally, is the very reason for that.
Single parenting is difficult for anybody. I do not believe in anything that stereotypes us on the basis our…
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I’m always on the lookout for more resources aimed at single parents, especially moms. Here you go, ladies. A national ministry just for you. If you feel the need to join a support group, they’ve got it. They also have a newsletter, online communities, special events, even a page for single dads.
Speaking of special events…In September, the ministry hosts a national conference in Baton Rouge. You can get all the details at http://thelifeofasinglemom.com/
Help me spread the word!
Hey friends, it’s almost that time — August 1, release date for the long-awaited Book 1 in my new Golden State Trilogy! And to satisfy your curiosity, here’s a peek at the cover:
To see what the book is about, click here. Then leave a comment below. I’ll choose one commenter at random to receive a gift copy on August 1. And be sure to let your friends know, too.
In honor of Mothers’ Day — I saw this Facebook post earlier this week, and it just about ripped my heart out. Yes, there really are mothers like this one, who put their love lives ahead of their kids’ welfare. We need to keep speaking out against these Mommy Dearests, and do our best to erase the damage they do to these kids. Kudos to teachers like Lauren who are willing to get below the surface and reach out to these hurting kids.
(Reposted with permission.)
I get asked all the time why I teach. I never know how to answer it quite right, so I usually say something sarcastic like, “Because I’m really a huge fan of hearing myself repeat the same thing sixteen times in three minutes,” or “Because summers, obviously.”
There was boy in my morning class, I’ll call him Danny. At least three times a week, he showed up over an hour late to my class. He was always behind, never quite knew what was going on, and his late work caused extra grading for me. Frankly, he annoyed me. Every time he showed up late, I assumed he didn’t care. He wasn’t responsible. He didn’t respect me. Finally, I asked him. “Danny, why are you always late?” He shrugged. I said nothing, and waited for a response. He sighed, “My mom got this new boyfriend, and whenever she stays the night at his place, no one is home to make sure my little brother gets on the bus. I make sure he’s awake and get him on his bus, but that means I miss my bus and have to walk.” How far is your house from school? “A little over a mile.”
Danny IS responsible. Danny DOES care. Danny DOES value his education. See, whenever Danny was late, he would miss the school’s free breakfast and go hungry until lunch. He’s frustrated with his mom, behind in his classes, and is hungry. Of course this 13 year old boy is acting out! Now, when Danny shows up late, instead of greeting him with a detention slip and an eye roll, I get to greet him with a genuine smile and a granola bar.
Danny humbled me. To be completely honest, I get humbled by my students daily. They make me realize that I can be impatient, judgmental, and imperfect. But the thing is, there’s no eleventh commandment that says, “Thou shalt be perfect.” Jesus just showed up, met people exactly where they were, and loved them. Then he taught, but only after their immediate needs were met.
I teach because I get to ask kids “why” every day. Why are you late? Why aren’t your clothes clean? Why aren’t you doing your work? Why do you want to sleep in my class? Why are you so afraid to take a risk? Why don’t you trust adults? Why are you acting out? Why are you arguing with me? (Sometimes the questions are ridiculous: why are you hiding in my closet? Why did you think it was a good idea to throw your shoe out the window? Why did you just lick your neighbor’s ear?)
The “whys” teachers ask aren’t to be punitive and shame kids. Teachers ask kids “why” because we get to treat students like human beings worthy of love and respect. Those “whys” show kids that we care, that they’re worthy, that they matter, and that they’re safe. We ask why, and then we listen… Really listen to these kids.