Tag Archives: narcissism

Restored Joy

Writing fiction sometimes requires a keen imagination. But imaginary situations sometimes veer into the unbelievable if not infused with a strong dose of realism. How much of your own experience do you inject into your fictional situations? I believe it makes for a more powerful read.

Truth in Fiction

Photo by David Castillo Dominici taken from freedigitalphotos.net Photo by David Castillo Dominici taken from freedigitalphotos.net

Do you ever feel like your salvation has become just another thing? Has it become so deeply embedded in you that it no longer is fresh and exciting, as it was when you first came to know Christ? Join Dawn Cahill today as she tells us how God restored the joy in her salvation through writing fiction.

But first, a giveaway! Through the end of the week, Dawn is hosting a giveaway for one lucky new subscriber to her blog. She’ll draw the name on Sunday. So sign up soon for your chance to win!

How God Restored the Joy of My Salvation Through Fiction Writing

by Dawn Cahill

You’ve probably known some “churched” kids who, despite their families’ best efforts, simply have no interest in Christianity. They hang out with scary-looking peers and grow tough veneers. They judge others, not by their…

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Top Five of Two-oh-one-five


My first annual countdown starts in







Here are my top 5 posts of 2015 ~ Most read and commented:

  1. Does Caitlyn Jenner have male DNA? If Caitlyn Jenner’s DNA still contains the XY chromosome, is s/he still a man?
  2. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
  3. Name that band! OK, we have a winner! Connor, a college student, came up with the winning entry…
  4. A Boy Named Michelle.  Since I published the article “Does Caitlyn Jenner Still Have Male DNA?” the traffic to my site has soared like Donald Trump’s ratings.
  5. Where did THAT come from?  Time to stop being so serious :\ In the interest of lightening up my website, here’s my funny re-post of the week.

Which was YOUR favorite? Let me know in the comments. And have a warm, happy, joyous New Year, dear readers.




Beauty and The Beast: a metaphor for NPD.

If only love could truly turn a narcissist into a handsome prince! Unfortunately, I’ve never known of a real-life example, except for one…God’s love for King Nebuchadnezzar in the Bible. See my post How Many Narcissists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Lucky Otters Haven


A few days ago, I was thinking about the wonderful 1991 Disney animated movie, “Beauty and The Beast.” I was always moved by the Transformation scene at the end when the evil spell on the Beast and his castle is finally lifted after he nearly dies and Belle finally declares her love for him. In my opinion, it’s one of the best moments in animated movie history. That scene has haunted me for a long, long time and the other day, I felt inspired to watch it again, and was as–or even more moved by it–than the first time I saw it. And this time I knew why–the entire story of the Beast in this movie is a metaphor for a man suffering from NPD–who healed from it.

As the movie opens, we are shown a series of stained-glass images telling the story of how the Beast became that way…

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Hot Topics in Fiction with Guest Candee Fick

college football-625570_640

Dear Readers,

Do you like college football? I certainly do. And so does new author Candee Fick. In fact, her new novel is set in the always-exciting college football world.This intrigued me, so I invited her to share with us a little about her new release and the hot topics it addresses. 

First off, can you tell us about the premise of your debut?

Catch of a Lifetime is an inspirational romance about a first year college football coach who wants to win and the football-hating graduate student athletic trainer who has to work with the team. Of course, romantic relationships between staff and students are discouraged and they must keep their growing attraction hidden behind a wall of professionalism in order to avoid a scandal.

Sounds intriguing. Did you have a message you wanted readers to come away with?

I wanted to show a real example of how people look at and judge each other based on the outside, but God sees the heart. While my heroine’s opinions about football change as she gets to know the individuals on the team, headlines over the past year indicate that our nation still wrestles with broader stereotypes and prejudice based on race, political party, moral convictions, and even career choices like law enforcement.  Unfortunately, those damaging and divisive stereotypes are often rooted in the poor behavior of specific individuals.

Can you think of an example?

Take, for instance, a narcissistic football player. His athletic skill may have propelled him to the limelight and then he starts to believe the world revolves around him. That every ball should be thrown to him so that he gets the statistics and credit. That every girl on campus should be begging for his attention. That the rules don’t apply to him. After meeting such an egomaniac, one could assume that all of the other players on the team feel the same sense of entitlement.

However, just because a team has such a player (or two), doesn’t mean everyone on the team is that self-absorbed. Some, in fact, are hard-workers with personal integrity and a strong sense of right and wrong. While my heroine learns to not judge the whole group by the actions of one, it was also satisfying through the course of the story to have the narcissist suffer the natural consequences of his behavior and get taken down by the good guys.

Nice. So, your book touches on negative stereotypes and narcissism. Any other hot topics?

How about sex? Or rather maintaining sexual purity despite temptations and external pressure? My hero and heroine had to work to keep their attraction to each other within the safe boundaries of their personal faith convictions and I tried to give an honest picture of their struggle in the context of a college football environment. However, as one reviewer already pointed out, I ended up also showing readers practical solutions like accountability and staying in public places. I believe that’s the purpose of touching on a hot topic … to meet readers where they are and leave them with hope.

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00003]

CATCH OF A LIFETIME: He breathes football. She shudders at the very mention of the sport. After a tragedy involving a football player destroyed her family, athletic trainer and graduate student Cassie moves across the country looking for a fresh start, but a change in financial aid lands her in the middle of her worst nightmare. Meanwhile, rookie coach Reed worries his dream career will slip away as injuries plague his players and his star receiver teeters on the brink of ineligibility. As the two work together to salvage the season, sparks fly, and Reed must eventually choose between the game he cherishes and the woman he loves.

Candee Fick_HeadshotCandee Fick is the wife of a high school football coach and the mother of three children, including a daughter with a rare genetic syndrome. When not busy with her day job or writing, she can be found cheering on the home team at football, basketball, baseball, and Special Olympics games. In what little free time remains, she enjoys exploring the great Colorado outdoors, indulging in dark chocolate, and savoring happily-ever-after endings through a good book.

Click  here to purchase or get a sneak preview.

Thank you, Candee, for visiting my blog today!


Narcissistic mother.

This mother is just a shell of a person, like most narcissists. I bet Dr. Phil wanted to wring her neck. I wanted to say, “Repeat after me…It’s clear I screwed up and I’m terribly sorry.” I had to apologize to my own kids SO many times.

Narcissists are just highly trained monkeys.

Narcissism: Nature or nurture?

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Lucky Otters Haven


It seems some people think narcissists are smarter than other people, because their mental and emotional abuse and manipulations appear so calculated and complex, and they seem to always be able to anticipate your actions and reactions. People also think you can’t outsmart a narcissist for the same reason.

While it’s true that outsmarting a narcissist means you always have to anticipate their actions ahead of time (which is difficult for a victim to do), it can be done, especially if the narcissist isn’t very smart. In fact, some of them are pretty stupid. The stupid ones are probably less dangerous, but even the highly manipulative and cunning ones who are experts at gaslighting and other mind games aren’t necessarily all that smart.

They’re more like highly trained monkeys. Some monkeys can perform very complex tasks that make it appear as if they’re incredibly smart. But this is an illusion…

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How Many Narcissists?


Q. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?


A. Only one, but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.

Those of us raised by narcissist parent(s) sometimes use humor to band-aid the pain. What do you use to cover the pain? For many years, I used alcohol. But I thank the Lord for the counseling I received during my recovery that opened my eyes. Twenty years ago, I hadn’t yet labelled the role I was forced into as scapegoating, one of the offshoots of narcissistic abuse. But you don’t need a label to recognize mistreatment.

How I wish abusive parents understood the following diagram:

Abused Children—> Mean, angry adults/Substance abusers—> Child abusers—> The Incarcerated.

See the vicious cycle? Abused children grow up mean and angry. They are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and even abuse their own children. Often leading to incarceration.

Instead of Imagining no more heaven (a tragic visual), imagine no more abuse. Now that will be heaven!

I’ll close with the following quote from the attached link: “..behind closed doors, all pretense falls away. Only you, their child, knows what it’s like to endure their cold shoulders for days on end over a minor infraction, or bear the brunt of constant, age-inappropriate demands for perfection and strength. You know what it’s like to be parented by a narcissist.”



Preliminary results of the Parental Narcissism Survey are here!

Many adults were raised by one or more narcissistic parents. Were you one of them? And did life often not make sense? There’s a good reason for it.

Lucky Otters Haven


Back in February, I was approached by a researcher, Ph.D candidate Valerie Berenice Coles of the University of Georgia, who asked me to post a survey on this site to collect data from ACONs about parental narcissism and the effects it had on participants. In June, I was asked to repost the survey again, because more participants were needed to complete the study. I promised to post the results when I had them. This morning I received an email from Valerie, with the preliminary results, so here they are.

Thanks again to everyone for helping us develop and validate a measure of parental narcissism! The response from the ACON community was tremendous and we are the envy of our colleagues that so many of you took time out of your lives to help us with this research.

We currently have a paper from the questionnaire out at an academic…

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Would a narcissist who lost their memory “forget” how to be a narc?

Why it’s okay to kick a narcissist in the head…Thanks, Lucky Otter.

Lucky Otters Haven


I saw this posted on Psychforums in the NPD forum:

I’ve long thought what might happen if an N suffered complete lose of memory. Would he remember he was narcissistic? There is a novel in which this happened. Ursula Brangwen in D H Lawrence’s “The Rainbow” falls gravely ill and recovers as a near as damn it normal person.

I know it’s a weird question but it’s interesting. I’ve read that sometimes people who suffer head trauma (without severe brain damage or damage to only a small part of the brain) that produces complete amnesia occasionally display dramatic personality changes when they awaken–even to the point of seeming to have a completely different type of personality than they did originally. It’s as if they are forced to use a different part of the brain and form a new personality — and new brain connections — from scratch.

In most…

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Personality Disorders in the Church: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Part 2 of 5)

People are strange

Interesting to find this blog after I’d already written mine. This blogger and I came to many of the same conclusions.

Liberty for Captives

Author’s Note: Please read “Part 1: Introduction” for the context of this post.

Part 1: Introduction
Part 2: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Part 3: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Part 4: Paranoid Personality Disorder
Part 5: How to Handle Personality Disorders in the Church

“I know just what it is,” the pediatrician said kindly, smiling at the small boy in front of him. The boy shifted uncomfortably on the table’s crackling white paper and scratched his head.

“Yes,” the doctor continued, “you’ve got all the symptoms: a slight fever; headache; loss of appetite; a rash on your scalp, trunk, and face; and those itchy, flat red spots which are just starting to crust over. It can only mean one thing: chicken pox!”

Diagnosing a Personality Disorder

Wouldn’t it be great if personality disorders were as easy to diagnose as chicken pox? A lot of folks could seek help and a lot of…

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