Category Archives: People are Strange

Wise as Serpents: If the Word You are Hearing Does not Set You Free, it is not the Word of God (Part 25 of Sermon Series)

A powerful read on how some church folks twist or distort Scripture to justify mistreatment.

A Cry For Justice

God’s truth brings believers into freedom.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Evil distorts, perverts, twists and morphs the Word of God into a wicked counterfeit which traumatizes people and brings them into bondage. Evil loves to quote God’s Word but always does so with the method and intent of using it to deceive and enslave.

We are surrounded by phoney religion today, just as was the case in Jesus’ day when the religious establishment in Israel was corrupt. The temple was not the Temple, but had become a den of robbers. The righteous were put out of the temple while the wicked not only remained members in good standing but were preeminent in it — exalted with trumpets. When the Lamb of God came…

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Twinepathy (Part 1): The Beginning

Since we’re on the subject of twins…I enjoyed this post about another set of twins, with an unusual superpower….read on.


The World Of The Writer

Hullo, everyone! Here’s that surprise I mentioned yesterday. It’s been over a month since the end of Avengers’ Isle, which was a ton of fun, and it seemed like all of you enjoyed it, too. Rather than start a sequel (which I was tempted to do after watching Age of Ultron), I decided to take a story I was planning and turn it into a serial story for your enjoyment. I present to you part one of Twinepathy. Enjoy, my dear friends! If you like it, share!

Hello, my name is Albany, and I have a telepathic connection with my twin sister, along with the ability to read minds.

Well, that may not be the best start, but I’m pretty proud of it. It makes this sound like it’s going to be an awesome story. Which it is. But the beginning… well… I promise it’ll get more exciting than…

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Sin And Hope

A Christian Worldview of Fiction

Advent_candle_1Another mass shooting. This one also here in Southern California. More people died senselessly. More hospitalized. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

The thing is, sin is pervasive. Sin infects our world, our culture, our society, and yes, our lives.

And the facts are in: no one is perfect. No one! We can cluck our tongues and feel great sympathy for the poor people who are now grieving, who have been traumatized, who will no longer feel safe even when they go to work. But the truth is, the problem isn’t out there. It isn’t because of terrorists or guns or anger or mental illness.

It’s because of sin. We are a sinful people and no amount of education or tolerance or empathy can heal our broken souls. There’s only one hope we have and His name is Jesus.

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Beauty and The Beast: a metaphor for NPD.

If only love could truly turn a narcissist into a handsome prince! Unfortunately, I’ve never known of a real-life example, except for one…God’s love for King Nebuchadnezzar in the Bible. See my post How Many Narcissists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Lucky Otters Haven


A few days ago, I was thinking about the wonderful 1991 Disney animated movie, “Beauty and The Beast.” I was always moved by the Transformation scene at the end when the evil spell on the Beast and his castle is finally lifted after he nearly dies and Belle finally declares her love for him. In my opinion, it’s one of the best moments in animated movie history. That scene has haunted me for a long, long time and the other day, I felt inspired to watch it again, and was as–or even more moved by it–than the first time I saw it. And this time I knew why–the entire story of the Beast in this movie is a metaphor for a man suffering from NPD–who healed from it.

As the movie opens, we are shown a series of stained-glass images telling the story of how the Beast became that way…

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Narcissistic mother.

This mother is just a shell of a person, like most narcissists. I bet Dr. Phil wanted to wring her neck. I wanted to say, “Repeat after me…It’s clear I screwed up and I’m terribly sorry.” I had to apologize to my own kids SO many times.

Narcissists are just highly trained monkeys.

Narcissism: Nature or nurture?

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Lucky Otters Haven


It seems some people think narcissists are smarter than other people, because their mental and emotional abuse and manipulations appear so calculated and complex, and they seem to always be able to anticipate your actions and reactions. People also think you can’t outsmart a narcissist for the same reason.

While it’s true that outsmarting a narcissist means you always have to anticipate their actions ahead of time (which is difficult for a victim to do), it can be done, especially if the narcissist isn’t very smart. In fact, some of them are pretty stupid. The stupid ones are probably less dangerous, but even the highly manipulative and cunning ones who are experts at gaslighting and other mind games aren’t necessarily all that smart.

They’re more like highly trained monkeys. Some monkeys can perform very complex tasks that make it appear as if they’re incredibly smart. But this is an illusion…

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Wounded Children

“The ACE Study tells us that experiencing chronic, unpredictable toxic stress in childhood predisposes us to a constellation of chronic conditions in adulthood.” (Psychology Today)


Have you ever wished for a way to measure your childhood adversity? If so, this is for you:

Finding your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) score

While you were growing up, during your first 18 years of life:

1. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

2. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

3. Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

4. Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

5. Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

6. Were your parents ever separated or divorced? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

7. Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

8. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic or who used street drugs? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

9. Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide? Yes No If yes enter 1 ________

10. Did a household member go to prison? Yes No If yes enter 1 _______

Now add up your “Yes” answers: _______ This is your ACE Score.

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If you scored 4 or above, you definitely experienced adverse childhood conditions. To find out what your score means, go here.

How Many Narcissists?


Q. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?


A. Only one, but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.

Those of us raised by narcissist parent(s) sometimes use humor to band-aid the pain. What do you use to cover the pain? For many years, I used alcohol. But I thank the Lord for the counseling I received during my recovery that opened my eyes. Twenty years ago, I hadn’t yet labelled the role I was forced into as scapegoating, one of the offshoots of narcissistic abuse. But you don’t need a label to recognize mistreatment.

How I wish abusive parents understood the following diagram:

Abused Children—> Mean, angry adults/Substance abusers—> Child abusers—> The Incarcerated.

See the vicious cycle? Abused children grow up mean and angry. They are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and even abuse their own children. Often leading to incarceration.

Instead of Imagining no more heaven (a tragic visual), imagine no more abuse. Now that will be heaven!

I’ll close with the following quote from the attached link: “..behind closed doors, all pretense falls away. Only you, their child, knows what it’s like to endure their cold shoulders for days on end over a minor infraction, or bear the brunt of constant, age-inappropriate demands for perfection and strength. You know what it’s like to be parented by a narcissist.”


Preliminary results of the Parental Narcissism Survey are here!

Many adults were raised by one or more narcissistic parents. Were you one of them? And did life often not make sense? There’s a good reason for it.

Lucky Otters Haven


Back in February, I was approached by a researcher, Ph.D candidate Valerie Berenice Coles of the University of Georgia, who asked me to post a survey on this site to collect data from ACONs about parental narcissism and the effects it had on participants. In June, I was asked to repost the survey again, because more participants were needed to complete the study. I promised to post the results when I had them. This morning I received an email from Valerie, with the preliminary results, so here they are.

Thanks again to everyone for helping us develop and validate a measure of parental narcissism! The response from the ACON community was tremendous and we are the envy of our colleagues that so many of you took time out of your lives to help us with this research.

We currently have a paper from the questionnaire out at an academic…

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Is Donald Trump a narcissist?

The headline reads, “Trump Gets 2 Million Mentions on Facebook a Day.”
Two million? That’s 10 times as many as the second-place contender, Scott Walker. So what is it about this Trump guy? He tweets in caps as if he were twenty-five. “I truly LOVE all of the millions of people who are sticking with me despite so many media lies. There is a great SILENT MAJORITY looming!” He smiles that confident-bordering-on-cocky smile, and wins people over using only a set of white teeth. “He has made a career out of being the center of attention,” Sherri Greenberg, professor at the LBJ School Public Affairs at the University of Texas at Austin, told the [Wall Street] Journal. “That is Trumpism.”


But is he a narcissist? I can’t say for sure, since I don’t watch much TV and never saw his reality show. But here’s the official definition from the Mayo Clinic: Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. He obviously has the narcissist’s ability to charm people to his way of thinking. So I’m going to throw it out there for discussion: Is Donald Trump a narcissist? And what if it comes down to him or Hillary for President? Two narcissists duking it out, perhaps?

Let me know what YOU think. ~ DVC.