I call it the nothing box. That’s where my Ex lives most of the time since we’ve been separated and now divorced. Have you ever heard of the nothing box?
Well, I call it the nothing box because he simply went away, physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, psychologically. It’s like he put himself in a box where nothing happens, nothing seems touch him and there is little or no response from him.
I get it that we all need down time, private time to just mellow out. But to LIVE THERE incessantly? To not respond to your divorce lawyer? To your children? To your family? To your friends? I get it that he doesn’t want to respond to me sometimes. I understand that part. But when you tend to live in the nothing box, there’s a problem of epic proportions.
I’m sorry, but I’m tired of emails that don’t get answered…
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Today’s post is a two-part series by my friend, Samantha Ferguson. She’s an amazing single mama and photographer in Birmingham, Alabama. If you are looking for someone to take some great family photos, make sure you check out His Hands Photography.
I was researching a few months ago about encouraging things to say to a single mom and I came across a blog post from Huffington Post. It was sweet, perfect, and FUNNY!
From Huffington Post, 7 things to say to a single mom:
- Your kid is going to be so proud of you.
- Of course it’s OK to leave him/her with a babysitter!
- It’s also totally OK if you didn’t reeeeeally miss your baby too much.
- A family is a family, no matter who the major players are.
- Your hair looks great!
- You are enough.
- You’re doing awesome.
I have been a single mom…
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A message to single parents…
for raising children alone is hard to do.
But as we look back upon the years…
we can see how God has helped us through.
For we seldom choose to raise children alone…
but as we look back over the years…
we can see how God has blessed us…
through all our brokenness and tears.
And as we celebrate today…
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Hey friends, it’s almost that time — August 1, release date for the long-awaited Book 1 in my new Golden State Trilogy! And to satisfy your curiosity, here’s a peek at the cover:
To see what the book is about, click here. Then leave a comment below. I’ll choose one commenter at random to receive a gift copy on August 1. And be sure to let your friends know, too.
What will our nation look like without fathers? Click on the link below for one writer’s grim take. It’s not pretty.
This mother is just a shell of a person, like most narcissists. I bet Dr. Phil wanted to wring her neck. I wanted to say, “Repeat after me…It’s clear I screwed up and I’m terribly sorry.” I had to apologize to my own kids SO many times.
In Beauty for Ashes Part I, I promised you a visual example of God’s ability to make something spectacular out of lowly ashes. As I mentioned in my post, it’s fairly close to home. Mt. Mazama, tucked into the Cascade Range in Oregon, is even more beautiful as a crater than she must have been 6,000 years ago as a mountain.
Isn’t it amazing how God can take a barren wreck and turn it into a work of art?
Q. How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
Those of us raised by narcissist parent(s) sometimes use humor to band-aid the pain. What do you use to cover the pain? For many years, I used alcohol. But I thank the Lord for the counseling I received during my recovery that opened my eyes. Twenty years ago, I hadn’t yet labelled the role I was forced into as scapegoating, one of the offshoots of narcissistic abuse. But you don’t need a label to recognize mistreatment.
How I wish abusive parents understood the following diagram:
Abused Children—> Mean, angry adults/Substance abusers—> Child abusers—> The Incarcerated.
See the vicious cycle? Abused children grow up mean and angry. They are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and even abuse their own children. Often leading to incarceration.
Instead of Imagining no more heaven (a tragic visual), imagine no more abuse. Now that will be heaven!
I’ll close with the following quote from the attached link: “..behind closed doors, all pretense falls away. Only you, their child, knows what it’s like to endure their cold shoulders for days on end over a minor infraction, or bear the brunt of constant, age-inappropriate demands for perfection and strength. You know what it’s like to be parented by a narcissist.”