Category Archives: People are Strange

Does Caitlyn Jenner still have male DNA?

DNA

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-bruce-cover-annie-leibovitz

If Caitlyn Jenner’s DNA still contains the XY chromosome, is s/he still a man? S/he makes a beautiful woman, but I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the biology aspect of it. Is it merely an outward, or cosmetic, change?

These days, we can certainly transform our outward appearance to virtually anything. Michael Jackson proved it. But, unless our DNA is transplanted, we can’t change the gender we were born with. (OK, maybe in science fiction it’s possible.) Which means, biologically speaking, Caitlyn Jenner is still male.

Which begs the questions, Who gets to decide our gender?

Food for thought: S/he didn’t make herself. I didn’t make myself. You didn’t make yourself. Perhaps, however, in these times biology no longer matters?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Ode to the Hipster

This made me smile, particularly because here in my home city, we pride ourselves on our abundance of hipsters.

waltbox

image: theberry.com image: theberry.com

O, you magnificent Hipster, you!

You independent thinker, you counter-cultural devil!

Let us hear you espouse progressive politics and appreciation for art, indie-rock, and witty banter.

Let us hear you pooh-pooh your favorite band after they get played on the radio.

You are so hip!

Look at you puttering about your urban neighborhood in vintage thrift store clothing, tight-fitting jeans, complicated shoes, and special glasses.

Your messy hair bespeaks of effortless cool.

I see you are shunning mainstream advertising and media! (Except Apple).

And how diverse your friendships are!

But you reject the dude who says bro as your oppressor!

I suspect your choice of coffee is impeccable. Do you grind your own beans? But of course!

Hipster, you are the pioneer of trendiness! When we catch up with you, you have moved on. Or have begun to circle round behind us to wear something we stopped wearing long…

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Did Courtney kill Kurt?

This is a fascinating article on Kurt and Courtney. True confession time: My character Howard, aka Declan Decker (When Lyric Met Limerick), was loosely based on Kurt Cobain. However, Luna, his lady love, was definitely no Courtney Love.

Lucky Otters Haven

kurtcourtneykurt

The two-decade long question of whether or not Kurt Cobain really committed suicide came up between myself and my friend today. It’s been bandied about for years, but it seems no one has ever bothered to take it seriously or re-open the case to further investigate Cobain’s death.

Even though Kurt may have been prone to depressions and shied away from the stardom he achieved as both an early pioneer of the Grunge movement and The Poster Child of Generation X, I never believed he really killed himself. Why would he? He had everything–talent, success as the frontman of Nirvana, a bestselling record, a baby daughter, and a…ahem…new wife who everyone believed was in love with him.

It’s his wife, Courtney Love, we need to take a closer look at here. Most people just take it on faith that Kurt killed himself because his music was dark and depressing and…

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Would a narcissist who lost their memory “forget” how to be a narc?

Why it’s okay to kick a narcissist in the head…Thanks, Lucky Otter.

Lucky Otters Haven

Memory-Loss

I saw this posted on Psychforums in the NPD forum:

I’ve long thought what might happen if an N suffered complete lose of memory. Would he remember he was narcissistic? There is a novel in which this happened. Ursula Brangwen in D H Lawrence’s “The Rainbow” falls gravely ill and recovers as a near as damn it normal person.

I know it’s a weird question but it’s interesting. I’ve read that sometimes people who suffer head trauma (without severe brain damage or damage to only a small part of the brain) that produces complete amnesia occasionally display dramatic personality changes when they awaken–even to the point of seeming to have a completely different type of personality than they did originally. It’s as if they are forced to use a different part of the brain and form a new personality — and new brain connections — from scratch.

In most…

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Personality Disorders in the Church: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Part 2 of 5)

People are strange

Interesting to find this blog after I’d already written mine. This blogger and I came to many of the same conclusions.

Liberty for Captives

Author’s Note: Please read “Part 1: Introduction” for the context of this post.

Part 1: Introduction
Part 2: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Part 3: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Part 4: Paranoid Personality Disorder
Part 5: How to Handle Personality Disorders in the Church

“I know just what it is,” the pediatrician said kindly, smiling at the small boy in front of him. The boy shifted uncomfortably on the table’s crackling white paper and scratched his head.

“Yes,” the doctor continued, “you’ve got all the symptoms: a slight fever; headache; loss of appetite; a rash on your scalp, trunk, and face; and those itchy, flat red spots which are just starting to crust over. It can only mean one thing: chicken pox!”

Diagnosing a Personality Disorder

Wouldn’t it be great if personality disorders were as easy to diagnose as chicken pox? A lot of folks could seek help and a lot of…

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20 songs about narcissists (#1 – 10)

More on Narcissism – top 10 songs about loving, hating, or leaving a narcissist

Lucky Otters Haven

Because so many relationships are unequal, predatory, and abusive, and songs about relationships are so common in popular music, narcissism comes up in them often. I have posted songs about narcissism before, but I wanted to put them all in one post. I will be posting 20 songs, 10 in each post.

These songs are not ranked (because ranking them is impossible and isn’t my focus here anyway), so the songs are posted in totally random order.

Almost every genre of popular music is represented here. I have tried to include lyric videos whenever possible, so you can read the words.

1. “Narcissist” by The420Four:

Indie stoner garage rock that hits the nail on the head (but is nearly unlistenable). It still belongs on the list.

2. “Mean” by Taylor Swift

The pop country princess seems like someone who’s been in more than her fair share of abusive relationships with…

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How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

lightbulbs

Only one, but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.

During a recent conversation about narcissism, I posed this question: can a narcissist ever be redeemed? I wasn’t sure. Of the handful of true narcissists I’ve personally known, none of them ever changed.  But how do you know if someone is a narcissist? Here’s a handy guide:

 “Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th Century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.

“People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s ‘rudeness’ or ‘stupidity’ or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.” – PsychCentral.com

 I’m sure you, as well as I, have known those among the body of believers who displayed narcissistic behavior. But this behavior is the exact opposite of Christ’s attitude, who was humble and God-focused. His world never revolved around Himself; His primary mission was to fulfill the will of the Father.

Back to the question, can God redeem even a narcissist? Since nothing is too difficult for God, the answer would have to be yes. But what would it take? Let’s take a look at some examples from the Bible.

  • Pharoah, King of Egypt. He displayed a lack of empathy toward the plight of the Israelites. The Bible says he hardened his heart. “Who is the Lord, that I should obey his voice…? I do not know the Lord, nor will I let Israel go.” — Exodus 5:2. In Pharaoh’s world, everything was all about Pharoah.
  • The King Herods. Herod Antipas was known for his grandiosity—a luxurious palace, lavish parties. Herod the Great was noted for his need to be #1 and his lack of empathy. He felt threatened by the birth of another King, God’s son, and ordered all baby boys to be killed. If that isn’t lack of empathy, I don’t know what is.

Neither of these men ever repented of their self-exaltation. The biggest problem with narcissism, spiritually speaking, is that one cannot give glory to God when one has exalted oneself. And God doesn’t take this lightly. Pharaoh lost his first-born son (Exodus 12:30). Herod died a gory death; you can read it for yourself in Acts 12:21-23.

However, one well-known narcissist from the Bible did repent, and did finally give glory to God. But only after God struck him with insanity. That narcissist was Nebuchadnezzar, the Babylonian king with a super-sized need to be adored. You remember him. He’s the guy who built a gold statue of himself and demanded everyone bow down and worship it. Three Jewish young men refused, and the king had them thrown into a flaming furnace (Daniel 3). But God got hold of him (Daniel 4). After he spent seven psychotic years in the wilds, like an animal, God restored his sanity, and Nebuchadnezzar finally exalted and gave glory to God. It’s a beautiful ending to a story that started as a tragedy:

 “And at the end of the time I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my understanding returned to me; and I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever: For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, And His kingdom is from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heaven.” –Daniel 4:34,35

This is why Daniel is one of my favorite books in the Bible. It’s a story of hope and redemption. It proves God can humble the most egocentric of hearts, even though sometimes He has to use the most drastic of means.

So when we are praying for the narcissists in our lives, may our prayer be that they will repent and humble themselves before God, before it’s too late.

14 Ways To Handle A Christian Introvert

14 Ways To Handle A Christian Introvert.

UNMASKING THE NIGERIAN CON MAN – PART I

You’ve probably heard the tragic stories of women who’ve been scammed by a man they met on a dating site. Just when she’s thinking this is the man of her dreams, he tells her he needs X number of dollars wired overseas right now because he’s been robbed. Or he was caught in an accident, or a hurricane swept away all his belongings, blah blah blah. With her heart throbbing in sympathy, she sends him hundreds of dollars, fully expecting a huge thank you, or even a ring. Instead, she never hears from him again. To her horror, she realizes she’s been conned.

I wish I could turn the clock back for those poor sister-women and point out all the red flags these guys wave, flags we can recognize, if we would only pay attention. (On a side note – some of them might even be women posing as men, just to get their little hands on your hard-earned moolah.)

I myself have encountered these persons online more than once. I’m happy to say I never fell for their sordid schemes, but I can see how it could be easy to do if I’d let my heart run loose. Over the years, I’ve found they all show some common traits, so, for the sake of sisterhood, I’m here to tell you what those are so you’ll never, ever have to be victimized.

Here are five red flags. When you see several of them in one match, Run! Unless you want to “sting” them, which is super fun. I know from personal experience. J More on this in Part II.

  • Stilted, unnatural English. These guys are usually in Africa somewhere, most commonly Nigeria, so they don’t write like native English speakers. Scrutinize their profile and watch for language-butchering. For example: “One of my greatest passions is helping others. Its ritual of me to visit the orphanage homes and less privileged often.” Can you see the problem? This is from someone who claims to live in England, but a native English speaker would not say, “its ritual of me,” or use the term “orphanage homes.” He’d say something more like, “I often visit orphanages and the less privileged.”
  • Flowery language. They use words meant to flatter, yet they’re filled with English so butchered, the sentences practically scream in pain. “Your beutiful smile captures my attention.i saw your face and want to know you better.” They refer to God and blessings a lot, careful to give the impression they’re active Christians. Don’t be disarmed by this, ladies.
  • Resident of Europe. Now let’s get real. How many men do you think truly fall in love with a woman thousands of miles away before he’s even met her? Most men I know want to meet and date a woman at least somewhat close to home. But not all charmers who are only after your money will claim European residence. Sometimes they say they’re US-based, but they just happen to be overseas when they begin corresponding with you. So watch for that!
  • Business owner. They take frequent business trips to Africa and Europe. This lends credibility to their claim that they are stranded in Africa and need your money to visit you because they long to see your beautiful face for the first time. Yeah, right!
  • Widowed. Their wives either died of breast cancer or were killed in a terrible car accident. Obviously, this is meant to play on your sympathies. Don’t fall for it!

Naturally, there are legitimate matches out there who live overseas, own businesses, and are widowed. In my experience, flags #1 & #2 also come with loud bells attached.

In Part II, I’ll share my own experiences with online con men, and I will show you a trick on how to find out if he’s using a fake identity.